we all need someone at the end of the day for ourselves...

At the end of the day, when it comes down to it, all we really want is to be close to somebody. So this thing where we all keep our distance, and pretend not to care for each other, is all a load of bull. So we pick and choose who we want to remain close to, and once we have chosen this people, we tend to stick close by. No matter how much we hurt them, the people that are still with you at the end of the day are the ones worth keeping. And sure, sometimes, close can be too close. But sometimes, that invasion of personal space, is exactly what we need.

-Grey Anatomy.

Loneliness....

I was born with an inate ability to make friends and chat with people. I love to engage in intellectual discussions with friends and relatives. I enjoy hanging around in good company having fine food and drinks. Well, as you can see all I have said are things I want to, hope for, wish to, and yearn for. In actual fact, I have lived most of my life a lonely man. Well, i guess u might think because I have a nasty character or some freaking guy with queer habits that makes me get discriminated by others. Well, to disappoint you, I am not any of those. I would say I know many people, but few i call as friends. In fact, i use to tell people that i have long forgotten the meaning of friends. Because people i have once considered to be friends, have hurt me the deepest and hardest way you can ever imagine to make me cringe in fear of the word ' friend' Spare me all the 'pals, bros, buddies, dudes, etc' i have heard enough of those..In fact people who have used all those on me, never lived up to the meaning of those words. My bff used to tell me that its sad that someone like me have met many un-nice people along the way as such that i do not have the luxury of having nice loving company..
Since i cant remember when, i spent most of my time doing things alone. You name it, I have done it. I have ate at hawker centres, to food courts to cafes and restaurants all alone. Though i hate eating at foodcourts alone during peak hours, it's hard to find seats for one. I have shopped alone for gifts and groceries for the household. I have watched movies alone as well...not to forget tt..For someone who loves to talk and express himself, its pure torture to live in loneliness and isolation. But well, i have done tt...I have lived in torture for years...of course, i hope for the day to be in the arms of loving fun company or maybe at least a loving parter would be good as well. I m starting to grow and get use to it. Though sometimes the loneliness gets to me, like a drug addict going 'cold turket' and suffering from withdrawal syptoms. I start to feel depress, trying to find an outlet to let out my pent up voices and feelings. But after awhile, it withers away..and voices just die off..as if they were never meant to be said..I knw this loneliness will only get worse..I just have to brace myself for it..though I hope along the journey of life, i will meet idea people, to become good friends, company and a loving life-long partner for me....

Starbucks and Me

With nothing much in mind today, i decided to laze my afternoon away at the starbucks near my place. I am always glad to live in an area whereby heading to the fastfood joints, cafe n eaterys are all in walking distance. I went to my usual spot, the cushy single seated sofa by the window. Once again, it was empty n waiting for me to sink in and drift away in my thoughts. It was the best spot in the house, i could see the throngs of pple crossing the road, to the rest jostling into the mall, and anyone that walks into starbucks to get their usual cuppa. From office workers, to students etc. I ordered my venti spearmint green and sat down happily. Then someone came in tt caught my eye. He was an elderly man, late 50s, carring a sch style backpack, and pulling another trolley bag, holding the hand of his son. His son had down syndrome. I could spot the usual characteristics quite easily as in features wise. And then came the smiling to oneself, weird hand n leg gestures. He passed the waitress 5 bucks, asking her to bring him a cup of brewed coffee. I guess, u must guys must be wondering, hey wait a minute..this is not those coffeshop that take orders n they bring your kopi-c siew dai for you. Yup, totally agree, but HAH..well the thought tt came nxt into my mind was that he didnt dare to leave his son alone. I guess he had cases of getting lost or running wild before. Well, i m sharing this story because I feel for the Father n for the son. I guess no dad would wana son to be born that way, n yet i admire this man alot. For the fact that he's 50 plus n he has to takecare of someone that behaves like a 5 year old for the rest of his life is something very noble. The patience he has is unmeasurable. Sometimes i use to think that why doesnt a dad chose to abort that baby if they are aware tt the child wld be down syndrome at birth? I feel that the abortion might nt b a cruel thing, afterall the child born into this world, would only meet much struggle and sufferings. If i love him, i wouldnt want him to suffer in this alrdy competitive n cruel world, so why not end his sufferings early before his even the slightest aware of it...but then again , some pple say who are we to choose who gets to live or die?

TWG and Equinox at Stamford

Well recemtly, i have been pile-ing on the calories, feasting at quite a few places...being less restrictive of my once health conscious diet than before...I guess its because of the holidays,so i considering that i would have more time to gym, equals more gluttony..but the fact is tt, i have been lazy to hit the gym as well...crap :-x So i went down to equinox for their semi-lunch buffet. The food was of decent standard, there was a good spread, n deserts were satisfying. What i tort was pretty unique was their fondue... as they served not one but 3 types of chocolate fondues, dark, milk and white chocolate. It was more of the view that captivated me. Each time I head there, I am wowed by how our country has progressed with more skyscrapers coming up. I just sat there n soaked in the view n drank my Fiji water which burnt a hole in my wallet...zzzz...

Moving on, i went to the TWG boutique n cafe at Ion orchard for brunch one sat morn. Though I would have prefered the boutique to be located at a part of Ion with a decent view of the orchard walkway, but i guess i was pretty absorbed in conversation with the person i was with, so there was no time to check out any view of any sort. I would say tt tho the brunch was tad on the high side, but i guess u r paying for the good service, n the whole TWG ambience where u cant get anywhere else. The quality of food was top end and so was the tea. Pastries were above average, but I have tasted better. But overall, i love the place for nice relaxing conversations, and the cosy feeling :)

YAY!

Finally summer sch is over!!! today is the start of my break, which i have plenty of things to catch up with...got plenty of movies to watch like despicable me, the crazies, soccer's apprentice etc :) cant wait..and i gotta chk out starcraft 2, and prolly get a new wallet...mine is threading away like crazy, n the brand metal insignia juz came off the other day..crap...

Well, i have to start of the day tmrw with tidying up my room..its in the post tsunami state. Nw currently watching this movie called ' I love phillip morris ' starring ewan mc gregor and jim carrey. well, its about how these 2 actors fall in love during their time in prison...Its a romance cum comedy show but base on a true story...ewan mc gregor plays the role of phillip morris, and he looks dashing in this film..lotsa heart warming romance in between.jim carry plays steven rusell. I really respect this chap,as in steven russell the person in real life, as he's juz darn freaking smart..I shant give away too much, but i recommend everybody to watch it, of course, usually such films cater to the pink market..but hey, the plot is very orginal as its base on the true story, and u will be amazed by how smart steven russell is...haha..i dun remember this film showing in singapore tho, they prolly banned it...argh..i shall go back to my post exams life nw...will blog again.. ta-ta :)

Star Craft 2

Heard sooooo much good reviews abt it...i think i must lay my hands on it..soooooooon :D But i oso want iphone 4 n ipad too! craps :-X

Robin Hood

I just came back from watching Robin Hood. I guess it was quite a good show...the good vs evil kinda plot. The message from it is that robin hood did something outta his morales, n principles. He was righteous, and he gained more respect from the folks than the King Himself. He also chose what he thought what is right, and lived his life the way he wanted it to be.

This reminds me, someone close, told me this a few weeks back, he said ' life must be appreciated and lived out right, no room for regrets.' I thought it sounded very true, but i just didnt want to tell him how much I felt that it was correct, so tt he wont feel so cocky.actually, i believe he wun. I am very appreciative of what people have done for me, but still i use to wonder if people are apprceciative of my efforts..especially, after what has happened to me recently..I do feel abt regretful in giving my 110% to help him.but nevertheless, it was a spurr of a moment where anger crept up. And I am someone that doesnt bottle up feelings n anger. I am frank, I am open, and I will voice my opinions whenever necessary. I guess somehow there has been miscommunications somewhere, and things will uncover when shone under the light. i guess he just caught me on one of those period where i was so frustrated with everything n anything..

I Dreamed A Dream

As it been only the 3rd day of summer sch, i am buckling from the pressure and expectations of my profs..basically i feel that the pace is way too fast for us to grapple. There's this influx of auditing information that we have to deal with, and yet there's so little time to digest. I feel that I am studying as hard as even my finals were just tmrw! =X This is quite crazy. Well, I manage to take sometime out the watch the life story of susan boyle tonite. It's quite amazing how someone from such a humble background has rose through the ranks and become a world wide phenomenon. Something I could learn from her, is that she dared to dream, and she didnt give up dreaming. Even at her age, she believe in herself, n chose to take part in that reality talent show. So for all of us, with those dreams out there, we shouldnt stop, nor give up..keep dreaming, keep believing, we will all get there one day...

Being the best or the worst?

After sometime, I lost faith in people, and humanity. I believe that every human being was motivated to do something for a reason. Therefore, its very rare that you can find someone that does something out of the goodness he wishes to see in it. Nevertheless, this year, I told myself that I wanted to be the best for a few people that I have in mind. Most of them I knew for quite some time, one or two came into my life recently. I hardly choose to be the best for people..for someone...but i wanted to, i wanted to show love, give love and hopefully get back some in return...I was hoping that they werent driven by their own selfish desires. Till recently, my hopes and aspirations to be the best have been shattered. Being the best an going all out to help someone has turned me some sorta fool or joke to the person, which he justs 'lol' at. My help was sincere, geniue and I took every effort to do what is necessary within my means to provide for..but i realise all of it was in vain, without even the person bothering to me, upon me, being gleeful and updating him..thinking tt he would be appreciative of it. How naive I am...I am just being used once again...I got nthing to say...

One sem down 2more to go...

Well, I know I havent been blogging for ages..I guess everything has just been a mad rush for spring sem. Never have I felt so drained n so tired during the last leg of the sem. Oh God, thanks to motivation by a few pple, and God's help..I guess..I made it through. The deficit of lack for rest from the past 3 consecutive sems have been pile-ing up. Gosh, n summer sch is coming up in a week's time..how how how?! sigh..n there's like homework that needs to be handed up on the first day of sch. I am really sick of having to start everything all over again...Looking at my friends ard me, they seem to have a much better and relaxed life..regrets? well, I would be in the workforce much earlier than them.

I dreamt of my grandpa recently. I realised that 2 more months would conclude his 1 yr death anniversay...I miss you grandpa. I miss your presence and cuteness..and I love you so much for everything you have done for me. Time flies. I din really make any solid resolutions this year. I wondered if I should have though. Recently, life has made me been enlightened of many things. I m starting to realise who likes me, who cares, and who deeply loves me, and who are the sincere people. they are definitely not many, but I feel that I would want to be the best for them. I would also want to be the the best for you..if you r meant to be the you...

HACHIKO! =D

Well, I have just completed watching Hachiko 2 days ago. The story still lingers in my head. The loyal, faithfulness of dogs never cease to amaze me. Being a dog-lover, and having own a dog since I was 8yrs old, I could really relate to the story so well. What made things more similar was that I use to have a japanese spirtz, who was white fluffy and adorable, that is akin to the breed of hachiko. Sadly, I had to put him to death, because of sickness. It was something that wasnt easy for me at all. The fact that I loved dogs, and they are indeed man's best friend, because they are loyal, accepting, exhibits unconditional love to you. They dont know how to judge or discriminate unlike humans, it doesnt matter whether you are black/white, gay/str, rich/poor etc. They will love you for who you are. In the movie hachiko, which was base on a true story, the dog waited everyday relentlessly by the train station hoping for his master to return home. Sadly, does he knw that his master has passed away from an heart attack. The spirit of his loyalty and determination only make unfaithful unloyal humans like us feel ashame of our very selfs indeed. And for those pple out there, who consumes dog meat, darn I am so going to hate them..seriously!
And finally, kudos to Hachiko! =D

unsure

I am just left with one more midterm paper...took sometime off the past few days to catch up with something i call having a life I guess..well, its been good, meeting up with others. And after all this laughter, shopping and happiness ends, its back to books, and battling the evil tests and exams. Here I come to a point in time, whereby I really do realise that I missed lotsa people.
I was walking along the streets of orchard today, and I got called to take part in one of CNA 'call a love one' charity gig. And so I called a love one, n they filmed me. I realise that in the current world, its really rare that we get a chance to really voice out our feelings to the people we love and care. I guess, its become quite a norm, whereby people shut themselves up. Like till now, I realise how many people i miss, people that i use to have beside me, that are no longer around, or people i havent heard off for a looooong time. Well, I use to ask myself if they would miss me...strangely, the answer wld be nah, i doubt so...dun think they wld miss me, what's so special or impt of me..but still i wld miss them...all these different pple..sigh...i wana know what love is..can someone tell me?

You only get one shot, so let it count...

Ok, so birthday is over, CNY is over..recess week is over...Workload is overwhelming..I have just finished my first midterm, I still got 2 more to go. Argh, recovered from a terrible flu last week. I haven got the chance to workout much due to the intensive revision I have to commit myself too...Well, I feel that I m getting fat, n unhealthy. Argh, GOD help me..I dont wana lose those abs! =(....
I am really excited about paying Universal Studio Sentosa a visit during my holidays..Those rides, architecture just seem so neat and cool..awwww..I will be so mesmerised if I am actually there. Well, I was intending to go there alone, but on seconds thoughts, I think I should find someone to go with me, haven decided who yet..

Well, the past few days have been spent at home, just revising, eating n sleeping. freak, bloody unhealthy..sigh,I knw. Darn going to workout intensitvely after this wed. Recently, I have heard of a few broken r/s around me. Pretty surprise tho, I guess sometimes, r/s are really fragile in a way. I feel that the whole process can be pretty enjoyable n yet tiresome at times. But they always say, when you can find that person that completes you, I guess he's the one for you.

Harpy Birday to Me.

Ok, so I am a year older....that means my metabolism has decreased, I must workout harder to maintain those abs, I need more botox to get away those wrinkles. I must look out for white hair, and etc etc.. AND i must learn to bullshit less...hahaha..

well, I do admit that I have a fear of age-ing.. OMG, I mean, it's just freaky to get older...you will have more responsibility to hold, the pressure of going out to work soon etc. I got the usual greetings and well wishes from my friends. I guess birthdays can be pretty disappointing, as you expect some people to remember your birthdays because you remembered theirs, or you believe that you are important to them, but somehow they just totally were unaware or prolly din bother to drop u their well wishes. Of course, birthdays can be surprising too. I have gotten well wishes from people every year, that I never expect recieve. In fact, it makes me wonder how they found out it was my birthday. These are people I meet once a year?! or even worse, some are people I met 3 years back and haven caught up with them for ages. I guess its just the impact I left on them. On the other hand, people I just smsed the day before, or constantly hang out with, don't even remember. Maybe I am putting too much emphasis on this? Or maybe because the fact that, I take the trouble to remember all the birthdays of people, and send them cards, or treat them to meals, causes me to have expectations? hmm.. I dont know. but i guess to me, birthdays have always been disappointing n surprising.

Nevertheless, HAPPY BIRTHDAY KELVIN! hahaha..I have yet to decide what birthday gift to get myself..hmm.. I am eyeing that nice lacoste polo..hmm..we shall see eh..

I got fraxeled!

Well, today was the day where I went for my fraxel laser resurfacing. I have done 3 other laser resurfacing before, but they were of another different version of laser, called pixel. This latest one, is suppose to be stronger, n more effective. So my doctor said, hey why don't u try it out? So i said, why not..

So i went down to his clinic in town. He discussed with me the complications and the entire whole procedure, then I proceed to wash my face. After that, I put on this numbing cream which was suppose to reduce the pain. The word here is REDUCE, mind you. So, I was lead to his room of 'torture'. There was a comfortable bed in the middle of the bizarre looking instruments, and yet soft classical music in the background. He came in, and said, " kelvin, so are you sure you wana proceed with this? I mean it's ur birthday tomorrow after all, and the pain invovled is much greater." I stared at him for a little while, and I thought since I already here, there's no point turning back, argh..just go with it. And I said, " doc, just proceed.."
Then he turned the key, which started up the machine. A whirring sound set in, which should be the exhaust fan. He was keying in some stuff on the touch screen display. Dressed in a white coat, don-ing a mask, and protective shades for his eyes, he seemed too professional. Basically the whole system works with a handpiece which he holds that has a built in vacuum pump that sucks up the odour from the burn skin tissue. Beside the nozzle of the vacuum pump, theres's an plastic extension ring that comes into contact with the skin. Any skin surface that is within the inner surface ring, will be scanned by an optic fibre built into the handpiece to how uneven the skin area is, and the beam of laser shoots down to even every small spot of the skin. The procedure started, and I couldnt help but tear. It was a reflex action, and not because of the pain. Though there was still pain, but bearable. I guess with 3 other laser surfacing, countless IPLs n microdermabrasions, my face is kinda numb to pain. Not to mention, the number of injections my poor face had to endure the past few years..sigh..

So I spent most of the time during the procedure chatting with my doctor, to distract myself from the pain and boredom. When everything was all over. He gave me his blessings and some final word of caution before his nurse attended to me. My entire face was given a cleanse with antiseptic, and I was finally DONE! (the photo above is almost identical to the procedure I went through, its just that the people there are not me, they are americans!) =)
Walked outta the room, made the payment and got fetched home.

Now my face is raw and puffy. I feel really tired too..I pray for the best and hope everything goes well.

Ching Chong Chung Ding Dong Deng

Its the eve of CNY..but theres not much zest in me..Maybe because I am turning 22 in a couple of days time. And I got much work to be done and submitted after my one week break....Or maybe my grandparents arent around anymore. Its strange that I associate CNY with them. I guess the mentality is that old people are more traditional, and its the traditional CNY that brings back memories. I dont knw man, it just feels so empty these days for festive times like CNY. When I was in pri sch, or even sec sch, there was just so much to look forward to. I begin looking forward to CNY like weeks before the day. I was so excited about the celebrations in schs and with teachers. I remembered, everybody got to bring 2 oranges back. I also missed those celebrations with the navy which was just full of scrumptous buffets and nice goodie bags. Has education life sucked the zest and zealous outta me?

Well, I have just had my reunion dinner. And here I am blogging. Which shouldnt be the case. But as I have grown older, and got thru the education of life, I tend to look forward to the future, and build on my current establishment to achieve realistic goals.So much so, that I do not really care about all these in-material stuff anymore.

Oh yea, and tmrw is valentine's day. I always feel that valentine's day is a scam. Because, restaurants will take the opportunity to raise the prices to exhorbitant rates, and cheat all the young loving couples out day.Saying that, I wonder is it a good thing for me not to be a victim for the scam, since I have never celebrated v day all my life. Well, as much as i longed to find a suitable partner, I gotta admit that I haven put in any effort to do so. Besides, with my comitment to sch work , n personal stuff, I find that I might not be able to give the person enough time. And the other thing is that I fear rejection, maybe that why I never bother to try. I afraid that the person isnt who or what I think. But my frend told me today, he said if u don't try, it wld be 0% chance, but if you try, there's still hope.
I guess he's right. Maybe I should summon that courage to ask you. I so fear that you would get irked by the fact that someone of my calibre would even think of asking you out, I so fear that you would just look at me in disgust and say sorry, you got the wrong person. I so fear that I am not good enough. I guess I should push aside those fears, and try, because as a friend said, when you dare, you can get your happiness. And so maybe the nxt v day, I will really get to celeb with someone. As much as I would wana push the boundaries and find someone for company n affection, I also hope that I can find the right person, that person that have so much chemistry that we are just so happy, talking and laughing whenever we are together, someone who shares similar passion of paying it forward and helping me with my plans to help the less fortunate in the future, someone who is just so part of me that has good looks and nice physique. Maybe that person is right in front of me, staring at me, or even texting me. Just that prolly I haven done the appropriate things yet....I dont know. I will just leave that to GOD to show me the way....

Happy V day Pple! (>

wah lau what a week...

WELL, well..this week have been quite tiring and annoying and stressful. I mean, it all started off with the econs quiz on thurs, then came the managerial econs excel assignment for fri. This 2 was enuf to keep me on my feet thru the whole week. Why so? Cuz I just suck with excel, I guess I just have this fear of opening it up and see so many blank grids staring back at me. I just feel so lost n helpless with that programme. And the prof just throws it to us, and expect us to do it. Without teaching us how to really use excel.
Then there was the econs quiz to handle. Well, for me, its just needing to do well and be at the top of the foodchain. I dun knw, i just cant stand being lousy and in the bottom few..tt's all.

Recently there has been a lot of hoo-hah on religions etc etc blah blah blah. Well, to start of with, I am an acadmic, and I believe in GOD. To sole creator of the universe n man-kind. However, i believe that religions are man-made, and its a social construct which man creates to give them a sense of belonging n psychological assurance to something. My personal point of view is that I advocate any religion as long as they provide good teachings for their followers, to love and care for each other, to provide for the unfortunate, to help and share what they have around them etc etc..Basically the love n goodness that god would want his children to posses and spread. And so, I believe that most religions in the world, or my country promote that. Thus I dont see the reason why that one religion should stand out and condemn the rest of the religions judging by the fact that their god is superior and almighty and other religions are being puppeted by devils, evil etc. Why is that religion so scared or against or threatened by the presence of other religions? and has to engage audiences to not follow that religion and theirs? Doesnt tt religion promote the same values of goodness as yours? The grounds might differ, but the consensus shld stay similiar. I believe that religions are inocent, its humans who the ones that are guilty whom misinterprete information and take matters into their own hands, and pretend that they are some 'saint' or matyr and carry out some stupid crazy act. To me, I feel religions have been a curse and a blessing.
But to me, I trust in my god,who has given me love and guidance all this while, and I am very sure HE wouldnt want his children to discriminate and hate each other because of the different ways thru cultural, or race that people have decided to worship him in. In fact, I strongly believe that its a SIN to use GOD's name to condemn people or other religions or matters, because that person is NOT GOD, and so he doesnt have any right to speak on behalf of the ALMIGHTY..even if he's a religious leader, we mustnt forget that he is only human, and he's as flawed n imperfect as anyone of us.Dont you feel that GOD would be disappointed in you if you are saying things that would reflect of his unconditional love and care of his children? Dont you feel that you are using GOD's name to create hatred, chaos and discrimination that the devil wants? Now, who's the one that is being puppeted by the devil that indirectly appears to use GOD name to make himself sound holy, when using this name just causes conflict n disharmony? That's for you to think and decide... peace out. For the love of GOD...

Oh Boy...

Well, to start of with, I cant really remember what I did on Fri, so i cant really talk much abt it...hmm, well yesterday, was spent doing lotsa revision on econs. I got another econs quiz coming out nxt week..sigh..its nvr ending..And I was a good boy, staying at home, saving my parent's money, and studying with the intermittance of facebooking, msning, eating, smsing, etc. But it was still rather productive. I finished 2 pages of textbook. Basically they were telling me about the introduction of how macro-econs came about.. LOL..dam i m kidding lah..it was good lah..revision.
Then I had a random chat with my friend, and we juz brought up this academic writing topic if gays and lesbians should be given marriage rights? And what he said was, there's nothing wrong with spending your life with someone that you want..and that's what marriage is all about. And I totally agree. Besides, homosexuality and bisexuality has been concluded that its been part of the sexuality variant of humans by scientists after thorough intensive research. As much as people didnt choose to be born straight, they didnt choose to be born gay. I believe that its so wrong and unethical to deny someone his/her love for someone else. And because so many of them have been denied this right, they lead very depressed and pitiful lives. Just like all the majority of straight people, they just dont want to spent their lives alone, living as what you all believe is 'right' of them so that they wont be called 'sick'. Doesnt all religions preach to love, and share and spread this love? But we are not, we are using our very own religious views to condemn these people.. Treating them as an abomination. To the fundamentalists n misguided people, shame on you. And to those who lead n preach for people to condemn these people, i believe that you are serving the devil instead, because by doing so you create discrimination, hatred, n lost of lives which is what the devil wants, chaos. I pray for GOD to enlighten these misguided people, and to be merciful in judging them, and to lift off the sufferings from people who have already been discriminated n hated for gender, race and sexuality sake.

I am blessed that I have such intellectual and enlightened friends. Moving on, today was exhausting. Had a hectic gym schedul today. Was pulled down by my gym buddy to hit the weights. He keep adding the weights while assisting. Thanks pal =D. I think i will feel the aches tmrw again! hehe..And after that rushed down to vivo city for a dinner apptment with my tjc mates. Its good to see them after sooo long. Hmm, we ate at Kim Gary restaurant after much negeotiations. It wasnt dat great.. The food was mediocre. It's just tt u dun really get such kinda food everywhere which makes it unique lah I guess..Then after tt, we just strolled around, sat on the grass patch on the 3rd level to count stars..and that's it lor..

Need to head to see the doctor tmrw! ciao

Fact of Love

I believe that we often keep our emotions n feelings to ourselves, and that's what refraining us from getting to know each other better. You are not sure if I am who you think I am, and I am not sure if I think that whom you really are..I could see that things are holding you back, from saying what you really wana say, or touch me the way you want..I am equally afraid to do something that may cross the line that I feel it shouldnt be, if you are not who i think you are.
But when i can feel you so strongly, and sense the chemistry that I believe you cant get with someone else, maybe we are both right. Maybe we should break the walls, screw the barrier, drop the formality, and just come clean. And just say what we want, and be whom we really wana be. Then we will reach a certain level of happiness n pleasure that only doing such can we achieve.
But for now, we are just waiting, and assuming, and susepcting, and judging. Will we ever get anyway? Or maybe you alrdy know it, then what's holding you back? You are doubting if you are whom i think i am..then let me tell you, yes, I am who you think I am. If you have alrdy put in so much effort to know me, then come claim ur prize. I dun believe in sheer concidences, or planning. I believe you came into my life upon fate.

Whatever it is, choose what's best for yourself. Always remember that, as long as you love, you have hope.Believe in us. Believe in love...

3210

Well, you must be wondering about my blog title..and if you look at today's date, then you would prolly figure that out! 3/2/10. Strangely unique n rare, but many of us wouldnt bother to ever take notice about it. So I had my first accounting quiz of the sem today.... #$*$*&@#^$@&(!
Yup, that's what I have to say abt tt.. to translate it to more civilised terms, it was really tough.. I gotta admit, I skipped some parts of studying, but still, I was really complex and mind boggling..and my brain juice have dried up for the week... HOW TO STUDY ECONS OVER THE WKEND? hmm, the only way they say to replenish brain juice is to go intensive retail therapy! =D esp during the CNY round the corner, there's really lotsa reasons to shop...as in LOTSA reasons. U can always tell ur mum, if new year no new clothes, bad luck whole year round! Exams flung, GPA down! everything low low low low. So ur parents gives u few hundred bucks n u can go buy some clothes from the new mandarin gallery! lol.
Back to accounting, well, morale n ego shattered.. always tort tt we or i were very zai at accounting..looks like we met our match lor. sianz.. I knw there wld be moderation, but I guess it juz made me feel very stupid suddenly that i couldnt do those qns.. Think I m going to play some l4d 2..vent some frustration...till then..byies!

ARGH

Accounting quiz tmrw! Muz chiong and do well... Nxt week still got econs quiz... n essay assignment to hand up! =( goodbye wkends!

Grammys MAC BREAKFAST..and WTF

And so today was the grammy's!!!! yippee...i finally get to watch it LIVE..so happy.. =) and i get to see those wonderful performances by others...Had lovely mac breakfast with a frend who came over in the morn after his guard duty...and we enjoyed black eye pea performance, which we prolly turned it up a little louder than the other perforamnces with the sub-woofer booming abt.

Sun-days afternoon

Well, its sunday afternoon..its really SUN-day..the sun is out and bright, heating up our tropical island. This is usually the time I wish we had climate of 22degrees celcius, and I can walk out happily without the need of applying sun-block or using an umbrella. Yea,i m kinda photo-sensitive...nt my fault, long story for another day..So I am stuck at home, with the air-conditioning blowing down my neck, and looking thru some vietnam war museum photos from facebook. I could bearly read on, as they were describing how the US personnel tortured the POWs. Sigh, so in-humane and brutal. How could a human do this to a fellow human? This is ridiculous...

This reminds me of the movie I watched recently, law-abidding citizen. And I realise that our law system is very flawed..as in the law system all over the world. I guess this movie really got me thinking..Criminals are allowed to walk free from court-rooms if they can hire good lawyers that can prove them innocent in front of the jury or judge. It's what u can prove in court, and not what you are guilty of. And logically speaking, what gives another human a right whether you get to live or die? Or get 10yrs of imprisonment or 21 strokes of the cane?! Who is he? just someone else who has more education and training than you, is that it? He could be blinded,mis-guided, or bias right? I guess in my perception, only GOD, our creator, has the right to decide if i get to live or die, and not some human, who is a specialist in his field, but could more leading a more screwed up life, less enlightened about the values of life etc than me, to decide my fate. Strangely, when they say there's justice in the law system, to me, I guess there's no justice at all. Its just base on luck and skill. After all, I guess judges are very judgemental aint it?

the success of avatar...

Well, so I managed to watch avatar at last..hmm, what can i say? erm..lotsa blue creatures and jellyfish-like stuff floating thru the whole movie? my friend said tt losta pple in states came down with depression after watching the flick, because they wanted to go to the land of pandora. I was like, WHAT?! the place is so darn boring..but anyways, i think james cameron is brilliant! He created something outta nothing, and made it so real and realistic. You have to respect this old dog, who made the top grossing movie like dun-knw-how-many years back, and came back after a super long break with another record grossing flick. HE's not ur everyday director. I guess the movie was so high budget until he didnt hire any A-list stars, like tom cruise, brad pitt, etc. But I guess his plan worked well, because pple were more into the CGI. Though, I nearly dozed off thru some part of the flicks because I tot it was un-necessary, but I guess, it got me up again during the big fight, which was heart wrenching to see so many pple dying for nothing. sigh. I hate leaving theatres with that 'kek' feeling in the heart, aka heartache. But, I guess tt's what a lot of movies are these days...So avatar is off my list, now I m thinking of hichiko.

So I spent the day revising for my accounting for I have quiz nxt wed! 2nd quiz of the sem. bravo..and more to come.Grammys up n coming ths mon. I am looking forward. Able to catch it LIVE cuz I dont have classes.yippee. I think Lady Ga-Ga and Alicia Keys will bag something. Bought my mum a bday gift yesterday, well she's quite happy with it. That's great....Becuz I had a hard time looking for a gift lah..I am more acquainted with buying gifts for guys tho.
Lotsa things running thru my mind tho, and i realise that there are so many things which I wana put right, but these things are major problems that cant be solved over-nite. sigh, the strive to move on with god's help and achieve my passion..nothing is going to stand in my way!!! LOL..and no back to revising accting..
A run beckons after tt...heh

CNY approaches

Was looking thru the calendar, and realised tt CNY is less than 2 weeks away!!!!! Strangely, I dont feel much zealous abt it as compared to Christmas...maybe its because of my western broughtup, or maybe because my grandparents are no longer around to add that chinese touch to it..or maybe i m really old..22..does tt count? lol..I miss those days where we had CNY celebs in school. I guess thats when you really feel the mood. You get to see ya sch getting all decoated up, and doing CNY related stuff during ur arts classes.. Boy I guess we have all surpassed that..Tho, I do feel like dropping back my sch during their cny celeb just to busk in that nostalgic feeling again...

Yesterday, I took a new route home..thanks to a friend who stays at alijunied, so he dropped me off near his place, and I took a bus from there to east coast.eh, he drives, and quite fast too..so tt reduces my bus train bus journey duration by quite a bit..Was totally lost again during Cost Accounting today. I guess its the same for everybody. It always seems tt he's smoking his way thru the lesson, teaching us something he doesnt know..hmm..I wonder how to deal with his exams..sigh..

Well, finally, hopefully, n tt everything goes well, I m going to get Avatar 3D tmrw! finally! God seem to have been very reluctant to make me watch the flick for the past 4 times I tried. It's either theatre seats all taken up, person has watched it alrdy, person drags me to go somewhere else with him cuz he dislikes watching blue people dancing ard, or some last min assignment cropped up. The most sway thing that can happen tmrw is.....better not say..later it comes true..I hope this movie lives up to its expectation or I would want a refund from Cathay or James Cameron. Its my mother's birthday tmrw! Happy Birthday mummy! =) Thanks for all your love and care all these years. *hugs*

I just discovered tt jessie, my lovey durvey doggie, doesnt like to drink Luo Han Guo drink, cuz I fed her some today..apparently the herbal thing, just doesnt go well with dogs..but then again, u never really knw what they put in those stuff, its all black n murky anyway..alrite, time to go...i wana go kick some zombies ass for l4d 2, before turning in..nite nites.

Juz a day...

Well econs today..was rather a breeze.. managed the paper in less than half the stipulated time..the other half was spent checking my answers with my neighbor..lol. nah, I didnt do that..the prof was prancing ard the entire lecture theatre..besides, she jumbled up the questions...strangely, I don't feel any zest for anything this year..it's suppose to be a better year than last year? well, I dont knw, maybe I haven met that special one to love unconditionally yet..hmmm...

Empire State Of Mind

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RDYpqdHO0LI&feature=fvst

New Yooooork, concrete jungle where dreams are made of,
There's nothing you can do.....!!!!

Well, after looping this song a couple of times over my Iphone. I have kinda set up my mind to make an effort to attempt to get a job in NYC and experience what it is like there. After all, like what my Prof said, once you settle down there, you wouldnt feel like coming back. Its the heart of the financial market, and hopefully my US accounting degree shld prove useful and relevant. Nevertheless, I believe its a place where the best of the best thrive, and in order to make it there, I have to aim to be the best right now. sigh, that means less shopping n movies, more days spent at home.. revising..lol.