Its the eve of CNY..but theres not much zest in me..Maybe because I am turning 22 in a couple of days time. And I got much work to be done and submitted after my one week break....Or maybe my grandparents arent around anymore. Its strange that I associate CNY with them. I guess the mentality is that old people are more traditional, and its the traditional CNY that brings back memories. I dont knw man, it just feels so empty these days for festive times like CNY. When I was in pri sch, or even sec sch, there was just so much to look forward to. I begin looking forward to CNY like weeks before the day. I was so excited about the celebrations in schs and with teachers. I remembered, everybody got to bring 2 oranges back. I also missed those celebrations with the navy which was just full of scrumptous buffets and nice goodie bags. Has education life sucked the zest and zealous outta me?
Well, I have just had my reunion dinner. And here I am blogging. Which shouldnt be the case. But as I have grown older, and got thru the education of life, I tend to look forward to the future, and build on my current establishment to achieve realistic goals.So much so, that I do not really care about all these in-material stuff anymore.
Oh yea, and tmrw is valentine's day. I always feel that valentine's day is a scam. Because, restaurants will take the opportunity to raise the prices to exhorbitant rates, and cheat all the young loving couples out day.Saying that, I wonder is it a good thing for me not to be a victim for the scam, since I have never celebrated v day all my life. Well, as much as i longed to find a suitable partner, I gotta admit that I haven put in any effort to do so. Besides, with my comitment to sch work , n personal stuff, I find that I might not be able to give the person enough time. And the other thing is that I fear rejection, maybe that why I never bother to try. I afraid that the person isnt who or what I think. But my frend told me today, he said if u don't try, it wld be 0% chance, but if you try, there's still hope.
I guess he's right. Maybe I should summon that courage to ask you. I so fear that you would get irked by the fact that someone of my calibre would even think of asking you out, I so fear that you would just look at me in disgust and say sorry, you got the wrong person. I so fear that I am not good enough. I guess I should push aside those fears, and try, because as a friend said, when you dare, you can get your happiness. And so maybe the nxt v day, I will really get to celeb with someone. As much as I would wana push the boundaries and find someone for company n affection, I also hope that I can find the right person, that person that have so much chemistry that we are just so happy, talking and laughing whenever we are together, someone who shares similar passion of paying it forward and helping me with my plans to help the less fortunate in the future, someone who is just so part of me that has good looks and nice physique. Maybe that person is right in front of me, staring at me, or even texting me. Just that prolly I haven done the appropriate things yet....I dont know. I will just leave that to GOD to show me the way....
Happy V day Pple! (>
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