it's been a loooooong time...

well, yup..it's been a looong time. I finally get a chance to take a break from work. Its been a ardous week of revising and studying. Man, i am so time and shagged out. It's time to let lose, and catch up with things I am suppose to be doing..Oh, and I should be having some belated celebs soon with quite a number of people. You know, I really hate people who makes use of you. In that sense, when they are down, or have no one to turn to, and they come to you. You give them all your love, comfort and care, and they crawl back up again. From which they totally throw u aside after that, and leave you to rot and decay. And there are those who uses ur company as a substitue to pass their time and for entertainment sake. Both of you are like related to each other from the time you meet till the time you head home. Other than that, the person doesnt care less if you have gotten into an accident, or had a terrible day that you need someone to rant to.When you ask them out, they either say they are busy, or they are broke. The interesting fact is that, the reason they are busy, is because they are going out with their huge circle of friends every other day which they claim. When you get that, it usually means 'eh, I don't wana go out with ya, so screw off! ' Just accept the fact that your company is not appreciated despite you being so nice to the person. Obviously he finds someone else that can provide him with better company cum entertainment, he throws you away like a broken furniture, and you will never hear from him again. It's often that the victims are the nice guys, with a good personality. They are self-sacrificing and caring at heart. THey are often the ones that end up being emotionally hurt and scarred. I truly understand, because I have been there before. Oh and i forget to mention about those, who utterly use every bit of you at work and you summon every ounce of your energy to help them when they are in trouble. After that, when they are done with ya, they won't even bother to reply to ur casual smses like how have been? etc. Well, to them, between you and them, there's nothing much to talk about.

What I do not understand is how the fact that these people have the conscious to do such things? Me, being me...will never be able to do these things to someone who have been constantly nice, caring and helpful to me. Well, i guess, it's them being them then. My best pal kl use to tell me, how the hell do you get to meet these horrible circle of friends of yours? U should just leave all of them, they are draining you like crap. Well, to me, I just can't turn down someone in need of desperate help or comfort. My motto in life was not to leave any fallen men behind me. That was what i practiced in SAF, and I took the blame for many people, and I fought for many fallen men. I don't see myself as a hero, no way near there. I just saw myself as someone not being selfish, someone who would help others in need to the best of my abilities.

Someone told me, "there you go again kelvin.Helping people that don't deserve you, caring for those that don't care less for you, sallowing your pride to be nice to them whom regard you as crap, and treating him so well but yet he doesn't reciprocate anything back! why? wake up your idea. "
ya, maybe i haven truly awoken yet. They say if you can't beat them, join them.
It's either I wake up one day being cold, heartless and superficial like some of those around me, or, these people wake up one day to be kind,sincere and loving.

maybe one day things will change. But as for now, it's the continous strive to reach my goals in life.