we all need someone at the end of the day for ourselves...

At the end of the day, when it comes down to it, all we really want is to be close to somebody. So this thing where we all keep our distance, and pretend not to care for each other, is all a load of bull. So we pick and choose who we want to remain close to, and once we have chosen this people, we tend to stick close by. No matter how much we hurt them, the people that are still with you at the end of the day are the ones worth keeping. And sure, sometimes, close can be too close. But sometimes, that invasion of personal space, is exactly what we need.

-Grey Anatomy.

Loneliness....

I was born with an inate ability to make friends and chat with people. I love to engage in intellectual discussions with friends and relatives. I enjoy hanging around in good company having fine food and drinks. Well, as you can see all I have said are things I want to, hope for, wish to, and yearn for. In actual fact, I have lived most of my life a lonely man. Well, i guess u might think because I have a nasty character or some freaking guy with queer habits that makes me get discriminated by others. Well, to disappoint you, I am not any of those. I would say I know many people, but few i call as friends. In fact, i use to tell people that i have long forgotten the meaning of friends. Because people i have once considered to be friends, have hurt me the deepest and hardest way you can ever imagine to make me cringe in fear of the word ' friend' Spare me all the 'pals, bros, buddies, dudes, etc' i have heard enough of those..In fact people who have used all those on me, never lived up to the meaning of those words. My bff used to tell me that its sad that someone like me have met many un-nice people along the way as such that i do not have the luxury of having nice loving company..
Since i cant remember when, i spent most of my time doing things alone. You name it, I have done it. I have ate at hawker centres, to food courts to cafes and restaurants all alone. Though i hate eating at foodcourts alone during peak hours, it's hard to find seats for one. I have shopped alone for gifts and groceries for the household. I have watched movies alone as well...not to forget tt..For someone who loves to talk and express himself, its pure torture to live in loneliness and isolation. But well, i have done tt...I have lived in torture for years...of course, i hope for the day to be in the arms of loving fun company or maybe at least a loving parter would be good as well. I m starting to grow and get use to it. Though sometimes the loneliness gets to me, like a drug addict going 'cold turket' and suffering from withdrawal syptoms. I start to feel depress, trying to find an outlet to let out my pent up voices and feelings. But after awhile, it withers away..and voices just die off..as if they were never meant to be said..I knw this loneliness will only get worse..I just have to brace myself for it..though I hope along the journey of life, i will meet idea people, to become good friends, company and a loving life-long partner for me....

Starbucks and Me

With nothing much in mind today, i decided to laze my afternoon away at the starbucks near my place. I am always glad to live in an area whereby heading to the fastfood joints, cafe n eaterys are all in walking distance. I went to my usual spot, the cushy single seated sofa by the window. Once again, it was empty n waiting for me to sink in and drift away in my thoughts. It was the best spot in the house, i could see the throngs of pple crossing the road, to the rest jostling into the mall, and anyone that walks into starbucks to get their usual cuppa. From office workers, to students etc. I ordered my venti spearmint green and sat down happily. Then someone came in tt caught my eye. He was an elderly man, late 50s, carring a sch style backpack, and pulling another trolley bag, holding the hand of his son. His son had down syndrome. I could spot the usual characteristics quite easily as in features wise. And then came the smiling to oneself, weird hand n leg gestures. He passed the waitress 5 bucks, asking her to bring him a cup of brewed coffee. I guess, u must guys must be wondering, hey wait a minute..this is not those coffeshop that take orders n they bring your kopi-c siew dai for you. Yup, totally agree, but HAH..well the thought tt came nxt into my mind was that he didnt dare to leave his son alone. I guess he had cases of getting lost or running wild before. Well, i m sharing this story because I feel for the Father n for the son. I guess no dad would wana son to be born that way, n yet i admire this man alot. For the fact that he's 50 plus n he has to takecare of someone that behaves like a 5 year old for the rest of his life is something very noble. The patience he has is unmeasurable. Sometimes i use to think that why doesnt a dad chose to abort that baby if they are aware tt the child wld be down syndrome at birth? I feel that the abortion might nt b a cruel thing, afterall the child born into this world, would only meet much struggle and sufferings. If i love him, i wouldnt want him to suffer in this alrdy competitive n cruel world, so why not end his sufferings early before his even the slightest aware of it...but then again , some pple say who are we to choose who gets to live or die?

TWG and Equinox at Stamford

Well recemtly, i have been pile-ing on the calories, feasting at quite a few places...being less restrictive of my once health conscious diet than before...I guess its because of the holidays,so i considering that i would have more time to gym, equals more gluttony..but the fact is tt, i have been lazy to hit the gym as well...crap :-x So i went down to equinox for their semi-lunch buffet. The food was of decent standard, there was a good spread, n deserts were satisfying. What i tort was pretty unique was their fondue... as they served not one but 3 types of chocolate fondues, dark, milk and white chocolate. It was more of the view that captivated me. Each time I head there, I am wowed by how our country has progressed with more skyscrapers coming up. I just sat there n soaked in the view n drank my Fiji water which burnt a hole in my wallet...zzzz...

Moving on, i went to the TWG boutique n cafe at Ion orchard for brunch one sat morn. Though I would have prefered the boutique to be located at a part of Ion with a decent view of the orchard walkway, but i guess i was pretty absorbed in conversation with the person i was with, so there was no time to check out any view of any sort. I would say tt tho the brunch was tad on the high side, but i guess u r paying for the good service, n the whole TWG ambience where u cant get anywhere else. The quality of food was top end and so was the tea. Pastries were above average, but I have tasted better. But overall, i love the place for nice relaxing conversations, and the cosy feeling :)

YAY!

Finally summer sch is over!!! today is the start of my break, which i have plenty of things to catch up with...got plenty of movies to watch like despicable me, the crazies, soccer's apprentice etc :) cant wait..and i gotta chk out starcraft 2, and prolly get a new wallet...mine is threading away like crazy, n the brand metal insignia juz came off the other day..crap...

Well, i have to start of the day tmrw with tidying up my room..its in the post tsunami state. Nw currently watching this movie called ' I love phillip morris ' starring ewan mc gregor and jim carrey. well, its about how these 2 actors fall in love during their time in prison...Its a romance cum comedy show but base on a true story...ewan mc gregor plays the role of phillip morris, and he looks dashing in this film..lotsa heart warming romance in between.jim carry plays steven rusell. I really respect this chap,as in steven russell the person in real life, as he's juz darn freaking smart..I shant give away too much, but i recommend everybody to watch it, of course, usually such films cater to the pink market..but hey, the plot is very orginal as its base on the true story, and u will be amazed by how smart steven russell is...haha..i dun remember this film showing in singapore tho, they prolly banned it...argh..i shall go back to my post exams life nw...will blog again.. ta-ta :)

Star Craft 2

Heard sooooo much good reviews abt it...i think i must lay my hands on it..soooooooon :D But i oso want iphone 4 n ipad too! craps :-X

Robin Hood

I just came back from watching Robin Hood. I guess it was quite a good show...the good vs evil kinda plot. The message from it is that robin hood did something outta his morales, n principles. He was righteous, and he gained more respect from the folks than the King Himself. He also chose what he thought what is right, and lived his life the way he wanted it to be.

This reminds me, someone close, told me this a few weeks back, he said ' life must be appreciated and lived out right, no room for regrets.' I thought it sounded very true, but i just didnt want to tell him how much I felt that it was correct, so tt he wont feel so cocky.actually, i believe he wun. I am very appreciative of what people have done for me, but still i use to wonder if people are apprceciative of my efforts..especially, after what has happened to me recently..I do feel abt regretful in giving my 110% to help him.but nevertheless, it was a spurr of a moment where anger crept up. And I am someone that doesnt bottle up feelings n anger. I am frank, I am open, and I will voice my opinions whenever necessary. I guess somehow there has been miscommunications somewhere, and things will uncover when shone under the light. i guess he just caught me on one of those period where i was so frustrated with everything n anything..